Review: Getting It is a self-help slut’s wet dream
written by Allison Moon
Review by Maddy Jolly Fuentes
Listen, I’m a slut for a self-help book. Allison Moon’s Getting It is a self-help book for sluts. A match made in heaven, really. “A guide to hot, healthy hook-ups and shame free sex” may not sound like everyone’s cup of tea, but I guarantee there is something in this book for anyone and everyone who’s having sex. While the book is aimed at those in the non-monogamous community, there are chapters suitable for those in long term, monogamous relationships. Other books like The Ethical Slut can be hard to relate to for those of you not balls deep in casual flings, so if you’re looking for free, approachable relationship therapy, here it is. Well, it’ll cost you $32.99 from Dymocks — a lot less than a real life therapist.
I grew up in the era of Dolly Doctor. I would sneakily peek at the forbidden pages of my friend’s magazines because my strictly catholic mother wouldn’t allow us to have them in the house. Because of this I had a pretty skewed relationship to sex, right up until my early twenties. I was ashamed and confused about my desires, and desperate to find a random stranger to “lose it” to. Getting It dismisses the idea that casual sex equals careless sex. I wish I read this book before I fucked for the first time.
Author Allison Moon also works as a sex educator across the US, facilitating workshops on consent, queer issues and sexual pleasure. Her books came highly recommended by one of my favourite sex-ed instagram accounts: @shrimpteeth. Allison introduces you to an approach to dating and sleeping around that is inclusive and empowering.
Post-lockdowns, I’m finding that we’re all so touch starved, but also a little rusty on the basic social skills. The chapter on “Baggage and Intersectionality” was particularly helpful to me when considering my personal safety and accessibility needs when hooking up. If you want to go out for a drink but you’re overwhelmed by crowded environments, or you came out during lockdown and this is your first experience of queer dating, this chapter will be helpful to you too. Moon’s writing style is conversational and easy to digest, with little anecdotes from her personal dating life, infographics, texting templates and self reflection exercises that can help you work out your desires. She steps beyond the basics of consent, introducing you to informed consent, enthusiastic consent and emotional consent, and giving real life examples on how to exercise them. I have honestly picked up the book when I’m having a slutty crisis, checked the index and found a chapter that has guided me through the situation - it’s like having your best friend proofread the text that you’re about to send to your crush.
For my monogamous pals out there, I recommend reading “You 101” and “Self Etc” alone or with your partner. These chapters ask you questions around your own personal preferences, including pronouns, preferred names for your genitals, and personal strengths (both in and out of the bedroom). If you’re interested in having multiple lovers, “Designing Your Relationships” is a handy chapter. Here Allison explains the various forms of non monogamy, such as relationship anarchy, polyamory, swinging and monoga-mish.
The whole book is full of bite sized chapters and activities covering a wide ranging of sex and dating topics. You don’t even need to read it cover to cover — it’s perfect for picking up as a reference book when you need an empowering pick me-up. Go get yourself a copy of Getting It and get slutty, whatever that looks like to you.
Getting It is published by Random House. Get it (lol) for $32.99 here, or at your local bookstore.
Maddy spends most of her time crying, fucking or talking to herself; sometimes all at the same time. She is obsessed with reading non-fiction at the moment, mostly to try and regain the brain cells she lost doing nangs during lockdown. Find her @maddy_jolly.
We paid Maddy $25 for this article.
Like this review? Buy us a $5 coffee here. You can do it once, once a month or as many times as you like.
